Monday, March 31, 2008

Loyola & CET Bloopers

College life along with school life provide us with a treasure horde of myriad memories which we can carry around for a life time. While school provided us a secure studying environment, the life at CET introduced us to the unchartered areas of student life. Strikes, gheraos, demo days etc. where terms which we did not even come remotely face to face with during our school days.


While students are the uncrowned badshahs of bufoonery in both school and college, the Professors are the silent rajas of comedy. Read on below to find out why.

Our Chemistry teacher takes us to the lab to demonstrate a few experiments. On the walls of the lab are potraits of great chemists like Lavoisier, Mendelev etc. After showing those to us, he says "One day......I will also hang there", meaning, one day his fame would also make his potrait hang on those walls.

The same teacher, during the demonstration of the Golden Spangles Test, warns us to pour out the chemicals into the test-tube slowly. "Dont pour..pouuuuuuuuuuuur".

Also by him were "Take an empty beaker full of water" and "Take an iron rod of any metal".

Our Chemistry teacher was also the main organizer from the staff for the Loyola Youth Festival. While revealing the outcme of one event there was great tension between GG and JJ house as to who would come out first. While revealing the winner of the 2nd place, he announced "And the 2nd place goes to...........GJ House", leaving both the house supporters wondering as to who had actually won.

Our PT Sir on the rehersal day of our school sports meet. "The 24th Annual Loyola Sports meet will delcare the Chief Guest open".

The same PT Sir telling the boys of a class to seperate into 4 groups. "Seperate into four halves".

At CET, the level of English usage by the professors was taken to the next level. The examples below are courtsey the Orkut community of CET, and, most contributions are by boys of that rocking department - The Royal Mexx - those who experience the royal life at college :-). The examples below also include some non-english related bloopers also.

The words of a lecturer who wants to explain that there are also other persons in the college who share the same name as his "I am not the only "Rakesh" in this college.....there is also yet another "Rakesh" but that is not me"

How about a Prof in Mech asking Rohit after his seminar on "Inter continental Ballistic missiles""oh ok...seminar kollam...but tell me its daily use" . A visibly shocked Rohit replied"Sir...it can be used to bomb countries". The Prof replies "Oh..Good, good" !

Or the time someone went to Ayyappan sir a.k.a Oxford Ayyappan for change of elective. He was initially refused on the famous 'technical grounds'. Then he actually applied pressure via some uncle or cousin or somebody to which the Sir replied "If you have hold, then don't make anonymous calls"

(read) "If you have influence, then don't come with any recommendation"

Ayyappan Sir asking a student on him discontinuing the course:"So you discounted???"

One lecturer of machine design desperately requesting the Mech students to write an assignment"Please .....shall i give one assignment.......just one.......its enough if one person writes it on behalf of the class"

Some one was flying paper planes in the class..and this lecturer comes in yells out.."aaaro Arrow vittu"

Ayyappan Sir telling "dont throw paper through the window.. understanding people will suffer"

During Viva in Electrical Machines Lab

___________________________________

Instructor: Can u tell me why the Induction Motor Torque-RPM curve falls down at high RPM?

Student : Gravity sir :-)

_____________________________________________________

Once Oxford Ayyapan was taking his class. He started having a suffocated feeling inside the class , the reason being, closed windows. On seeing this, oxford aiyyapan yelled,"Open the windows,let the air force come in"

Ayyapan became a grandfather. Look how he describes it.

"My daughter born again. The boy is a girl"

One royal mech at strength of materials lab was asked @ viva

q-what is hooke's law?

a-stress by strain.....

.q-what is stress?

a-hooke's law into strain..

q- %$#@&^

How about this from a Mech student

This happened in HE(heat engines) lab. The students had to write their names(full name) on a piece of paper and read it out loudly and walk away ..All of us wrote the full name and read them out one by one . I jus read out my first name (vishal). lab prof was shyamlal sir , and when i did that , he shouted "WHAT IS THE BALANCE".. he wanted my surname

In Computer Science class, where the HOD was taking classes

Someone flew a paper plane in the class which happened to whiz over our miniature 4feet 3inches tall HOD. Furious she turned round and asked : Aaranu ivide rocket vidaaru? (who flies rockets here?). pat came the reply : VSSC

Another blooper from Ayyappan Sir

When a student went to him to get the marks of MD corrected...his response was.."Once put is put. Now no more puts"

This is another one as narrated by a Mech guy (God , they truly enjoyed college life!)

We were having our "Material Science" class in S4 by Mr. X and he was just tellingus abt the books for that particular subject for which one of my friends added " Sir, How abt the book called 'Rim Poche'?"Hang on! he replied,"I guess Rim Poche is okay but not better than Kanitkar"We wished he would hav seen "Yodha"

This is one of my favourites, an anecode from yet another Mech guy

Scene: Our sir, sorry i dunno his name, was taking class while my friend 'luke' catches his attention by doing something. He comes running and asks him his name. luke replies "luke". he runs back to the board and writes "LUCK" and reads it out Luke!!Ooooh, u shud have been there to see the response of my classmates!!

Our Civil Engineering Staff Advisor came asking for Darren Desalphine. He says "Where is Darren....". He is not able to read the surname properly. He pauses for a long time and then approximates the surname and spells out "Where is Darren Deshpande?"

The next scene is that from the drawing class. One of the guys draws the plan of the house without showing the steps. The lecturer, I think Thundu Rajan, sees this and asks "De De..ithenthonnade..PT Usha-de veedo? Steps onnum vende?"

CET life is full of such interesting experiences for the students, not forgetting the innumerables strikes and gheraos by the students expressing reasonable , and sometime, unreasonable claims. For example, read below:

I remember my brother who was from CET Mech and a 1993 batch (reffered to as the Golden Batch, since that passing out year was the Golden Jubilee Year for the college) telling me that their batch had formed an association named 'MAFIA'. While inside the college premises the full-form was "Mechanical Association for Inncoent Activites", once outside, the full-form became "Mechanical Association for Immoral Activites".

It was the year of the Bombay bomb blasts, and, the next day all the major dailies came up with the headlines 'Police claim MAFIA behind bomb blasts". Sensing this as the best opportunity, the Mech batch next day armed with many banners marched "On strike...On strike...MAFIA-kku Bombay bomb blast aayi oru bandhavum illa", referring to their so-called association.

It is said that the lab machines at CET are some of the most efficient machines in the world. General Motors and Ford Corporation are said to have been amazed at the efficiency levels of such machines at the automobile lab. Every year when the students attend the lab exam, they are asked to measure the efficiency of the machine. And, goodness gracious, the efficiency measured by each student turns out to be the exact value as measured by students of the previous batch, and the batch which preceded that previous batch, and the batch which preceded that preceding batch and so on. Even the individual values taken at different periods of time turn out to be the exact same, thus forcing the industrialists to conclude that the machines at the CET labs are truly out of this world!

Me and my classmate Kiran a.k.a Kurudan used to find the Survey Lab exam a really tough one, especially getting the correct readings on the survey instrument . On the exam day, after a few miserable attempts, I went to the teacher-in-charge and said "Teacher-e..ente kanninu entho kozhappam..Optical nerve-inu entho kozhappamundu..". Teacher-ku pettennu daya thonniyathano ennariyilla , avarenne matti irutthi reading edukkan sahayicchu. Ithu kandu ente bhagya deivathe kanunnathu sahikkanavatha Kurudan ente athe adavu prayogikkan nokki. Pakshe avanu kittiya uttharam " Ohh..kanninu kozhappam alle..aduttha thavana suppli pariksha ezhutham..kannu athinu munpe shariyakum.."

P.S: When I was doing my MBA at REC,Trichy many of my classmates from Tamil Nadu used to laugh and tell me "Your college is so different". All I could manage as a reply was "Yes, but your colleges there are all the same".

24 comments:

Padakkam said...

haha..i remember those ones.. especially Turkey's :D

remember .. Thambi Sir.. he made a statement to TK once... forgot wat that was.. but hilarious..

Karthik said...

@Binu - Ya, who can forget Turkey's one-liners? :) I don't remember what Thambi Sir told him..should ask TK sometime hehe

Jiby said...

lol...too good man...after a long time it took me back to the good old days when laughter was a constant and happiness seemingly a bottomless pit!

i still remember the sheepish grin on VC's face after the GJ house announcement!!!

Karthik said...

Jiby - The names VC and CT will be forever etched in the folklores of Loyola. :-)

Deepti said...

Took me back to college days!! These Mech people always had maximum fun. My brother and all my cousins are Mech engineers, so I ahve heard so many similar stories..Nice post :D

Karthik said...

@Deepti: Yes, and I envied my brother who was in the Mech branch at CET. Thanx :)

silverine said...

ROFL!!! Too good!!

Warm memories...and feels nice to read because it is real people who said all this! And your retort to the TN students was superb!

Karthik said...

@Silverine - Thanks :) Yes, school and college days do evoke the best memories.

And I have shuddered at times thinking as to how some professors at REC, Trichy would have fared in their job if pitted against the CET-ians ..hehe

thomas said...

q-what is hooke's law?
a-stress by strain.
q-what is stress?
a-hooke's law into strain.

ROTFL. Would really love to meet that person. Good job Karthik. College life is full of interesting anecdotes and jaw breaking dialogues. Love to read these kind of things.

mathew said...

i remeber reading them in orkut long time back and i still cant stop laughing at some of em...i was taught by oxford ayyapan and i remember having to push him aside because he came to catch us while we were playing football in one of the big halls inside the new mech block! ;-P

Unfotunately he got the college bag of one of the players which was later easily retrieved. ;-P

simply when I look those days in CET were the best times..

mathew said...

There are many extreme cases..I remember some one even asking us to create an operating system similar to windows and a virtual simulation of the machines lab...when half the class dint know more than "HELLO WORLD"!

Karthik said...

@Thomas: I think that one was by a Royal Mech from TKM. But i guess even a CET-ian would have a similar tale to tell :-)

There was a CET legend called "Vaaltube". One funny anecdote regarding him was during a Viva session (not sure about the veracity of this though):

Q: Start the motor
A:rrrrrrRRRRRRRRRR

Q: Hey! Stop, Stop
A:RRRRRRRrrrr..

Mathew - You can proudly say that you were taught by OXFORD Ayyappan ..hehe..could you share some anecodtes of Cambridge Kamil for the benefit of the non-CET and non-SCT bloggers? :-)

Anonymous said...

wish God would bless us all with such excellent memories.

Excellent work

dont have time to leave a better comment
apologies

Karthik said...

syam - Thanx :)

Ashok said...

"Vaaltube" studied in Loyola. That motor anecdote - LoL!

Karthik said...

Ashok - Actually Vaaltube's brother Thomas was my classmate at CET. Fortunately, or unfortunately, his antics weren't anyway near that of his brother.
:-)

g-man said...

this just screams out "VC JACOB"

Karthik said...

g-man- :) Thanx for visiting

Jithin said...

terrific VC and CT...

raise your arms down!!!

calcium can be found in the bones of animals, plants and rocks !!!

Karthik said...

@Jithin- JD! Great to find your comment here..hehe..Ya VC remains the target of most students in the regard of usage of English.

sreejith said...

As someone who studied in both Loyola and CET, the characters and incidents are well known to me. Oxford Ayyappan, Vaaltube are all legends in their own respects.. just like VC and CT are for Loyola.. the number of stories involving these colourful characters are endless..

good job posting them here :)

Karthik said...

@sreejith- Thanx for visting :)

Yes, the number of such bloppers seem endless ;-)

AN said...

hey.. nice post... trying to recollect some of the bloopers from cec ;). My brother was a Mech as well...

Karthik said...

@anviews: Thanx for visiting..and do share ur list of bloopers too ;-)