While students are the uncrowned badshahs of bufoonery in both school and college, the Professors are the silent rajas of comedy. Read on below to find out why.
Our Chemistry teacher takes us to the lab to demonstrate a few experiments. On the walls of the lab are potraits of great chemists like Lavoisier, Mendelev etc. After showing those to us, he says "One day......I will also hang there", meaning, one day his fame would also make his potrait hang on those walls.
The same teacher, during the demonstration of the Golden Spangles Test, warns us to pour out the chemicals into the test-tube slowly. "Dont pour..pouuuuuuuuuuuur".
Also by him were "Take an empty beaker full of water" and "Take an iron rod of any metal".
Our Chemistry teacher was also the main organizer from the staff for the Loyola Youth Festival. While revealing the outcme of one event there was great tension between GG and JJ house as to who would come out first. While revealing the winner of the 2nd place, he announced "And the 2nd place goes to...........GJ House", leaving both the house supporters wondering as to who had actually won.
Our PT Sir on the rehersal day of our school sports meet. "The 24th Annual Loyola Sports meet will delcare the Chief Guest open".
The same PT Sir telling the boys of a class to seperate into 4 groups. "Seperate into four halves".
At CET, the level of English usage by the professors was taken to the next level. The examples below are courtsey the Orkut community of CET, and, most contributions are by boys of that rocking department - The Royal Mexx - those who experience the royal life at college :-). The examples below also include some non-english related bloopers also.
The words of a lecturer who wants to explain that there are also other persons in the college who share the same name as his "I am not the only "Rakesh" in this college.....there is also yet another "Rakesh" but that is not me"
How about a Prof in Mech asking Rohit after his seminar on "Inter continental Ballistic missiles""oh ok...seminar kollam...but tell me its daily use" . A visibly shocked Rohit replied"Sir...it can be used to bomb countries". The Prof replies "Oh..Good, good" !
Or the time someone went to Ayyappan sir a.k.a Oxford Ayyappan for change of elective. He was initially refused on the famous 'technical grounds'. Then he actually applied pressure via some uncle or cousin or somebody to which the Sir replied "If you have hold, then don't make anonymous calls"
(read) "If you have influence, then don't come with any recommendation"
Ayyappan Sir asking a student on him discontinuing the course:"So you discounted???"
One lecturer of machine design desperately requesting the Mech students to write an assignment"Please .....shall i give one assignment.......just one.......its enough if one person writes it on behalf of the class"
Some one was flying paper planes in the class..and this lecturer comes in yells out.."aaaro Arrow vittu"
Ayyappan Sir telling "dont throw paper through the window.. understanding people will suffer"
During Viva in Electrical Machines Lab
___________________________________
Instructor: Can u tell me why the Induction Motor Torque-RPM curve falls down at high RPM?
Student : Gravity sir :-)
_____________________________________________________
Once Oxford Ayyapan was taking his class. He started having a suffocated feeling inside the class , the reason being, closed windows. On seeing this, oxford aiyyapan yelled,"Open the windows,let the air force come in"
Ayyapan became a grandfather. Look how he describes it.
"My daughter born again. The boy is a girl"
One royal mech at strength of materials lab was asked @ viva
q-what is hooke's law?
a-stress by strain.....
.q-what is stress?
a-hooke's law into strain..
q- %$#@&^
How about this from a Mech student
This happened in HE(heat engines) lab. The students had to write their names(full name) on a piece of paper and read it out loudly and walk away ..All of us wrote the full name and read them out one by one . I jus read out my first name (vishal). lab prof was shyamlal sir , and when i did that , he shouted "WHAT IS THE BALANCE".. he wanted my surname
In Computer Science class, where the HOD was taking classes
Someone flew a paper plane in the class which happened to whiz over our miniature 4feet 3inches tall HOD. Furious she turned round and asked : Aaranu ivide rocket vidaaru? (who flies rockets here?). pat came the reply : VSSC
Another blooper from Ayyappan Sir
When a student went to him to get the marks of MD corrected...his response was.."Once put is put. Now no more puts"
This is another one as narrated by a Mech guy (God , they truly enjoyed college life!)
We were having our "Material Science" class in S4 by Mr. X and he was just tellingus abt the books for that particular subject for which one of my friends added " Sir, How abt the book called 'Rim Poche'?"Hang on! he replied,"I guess Rim Poche is okay but not better than Kanitkar"We wished he would hav seen "Yodha"
This is one of my favourites, an anecode from yet another Mech guy
Scene: Our sir, sorry i dunno his name, was taking class while my friend 'luke' catches his attention by doing something. He comes running and asks him his name. luke replies "luke". he runs back to the board and writes "LUCK" and reads it out Luke!!Ooooh, u shud have been there to see the response of my classmates!!
Our Civil Engineering Staff Advisor came asking for Darren Desalphine. He says "Where is Darren....". He is not able to read the surname properly. He pauses for a long time and then approximates the surname and spells out "Where is Darren Deshpande?"
The next scene is that from the drawing class. One of the guys draws the plan of the house without showing the steps. The lecturer, I think Thundu Rajan, sees this and asks "De De..ithenthonnade..PT Usha-de veedo? Steps onnum vende?"
CET life is full of such interesting experiences for the students, not forgetting the innumerables strikes and gheraos by the students expressing reasonable , and sometime, unreasonable claims. For example, read below:
I remember my brother who was from CET Mech and a 1993 batch (reffered to as the Golden Batch, since that passing out year was the Golden Jubilee Year for the college) telling me that their batch had formed an association named 'MAFIA'. While inside the college premises the full-form was "Mechanical Association for Inncoent Activites", once outside, the full-form became "Mechanical Association for Immoral Activites".
It was the year of the Bombay bomb blasts, and, the next day all the major dailies came up with the headlines 'Police claim MAFIA behind bomb blasts". Sensing this as the best opportunity, the Mech batch next day armed with many banners marched "On strike...On strike...MAFIA-kku Bombay bomb blast aayi oru bandhavum illa", referring to their so-called association.
It is said that the lab machines at CET are some of the most efficient machines in the world. General Motors and Ford Corporation are said to have been amazed at the efficiency levels of such machines at the automobile lab. Every year when the students attend the lab exam, they are asked to measure the efficiency of the machine. And, goodness gracious, the efficiency measured by each student turns out to be the exact value as measured by students of the previous batch, and the batch which preceded that previous batch, and the batch which preceded that preceding batch and so on. Even the individual values taken at different periods of time turn out to be the exact same, thus forcing the industrialists to conclude that the machines at the CET labs are truly out of this world!
Me and my classmate Kiran a.k.a Kurudan used to find the Survey Lab exam a really tough one, especially getting the correct readings on the survey instrument . On the exam day, after a few miserable attempts, I went to the teacher-in-charge and said "Teacher-e..ente kanninu entho kozhappam..Optical nerve-inu entho kozhappamundu..". Teacher-ku pettennu daya thonniyathano ennariyilla , avarenne matti irutthi reading edukkan sahayicchu. Ithu kandu ente bhagya deivathe kanunnathu sahikkanavatha Kurudan ente athe adavu prayogikkan nokki. Pakshe avanu kittiya uttharam " Ohh..kanninu kozhappam alle..aduttha thavana suppli pariksha ezhutham..kannu athinu munpe shariyakum.."
P.S: When I was doing my MBA at REC,Trichy many of my classmates from Tamil Nadu used to laugh and tell me "Your college is so different". All I could manage as a reply was "Yes, but your colleges there are all the same".
C is for cloney and its first name is not George nor is it a process for replicating sheep – it is an area where people live eg. Dfence cloney.
D is for Saddi Dilli
E is for expanditure – and believe me Punjabis are not scared of spending money – the latest cars, marble floors, their ambitions are always expanding.
F is for fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).
G is for Gaddi and the way a Punjabi can pilot a car puts any F1 driver to shame, if the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder and Sukhvinder.
H is for Ho Jayega, the moment you hear that, you have to be very careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.
I is for Intezaar… to know more about it see P.
J is for Jindagi and if there’s one person who knows how to live life to the full it’s a Punjabi.
K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc – the Punjabi equivalent of the Johnses ie, keeping up with the Khuranas.
L is for Lovely but she never is.
M is for Mrooti – the car that moved an entire Punjabi generation.
N is for No problem ji - to find out how that works see H.
O is for Oye which can be surprise (oyye!), a hailing (oyy), anger (OYY) or pain (oy oy oy).
P is for Panch minit and no matter how near (1 km) or far a Punjabi is from you (100 km) they usually say they’ll reach you in panch minit.
Q is for Queue for which there’s really no word in Punjabi.
R is for Riks and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against them.
S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu who seem to own half the cars in Delhi.
T is for the official bird of Punjab – Tandoori chicken.
U is for when U lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle’.
V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.
W is War – on the roads.
X is x-rated words they flow freely in casual conversations on the street.
Y is ‘You nonsense’, anger replacing vocabulary in a shouting match.
And Z is for Zig zag for which you should see G, M and P.
| Powered by web analytics statistics. |
